


The Reason Why My Guts Screwed Me

by NibrasDerryth



Category: Once Upon a Time RPF
Genre: F/M, Remilie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-16 22:45:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2287187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NibrasDerryth/pseuds/NibrasDerryth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moment when Robert Carlyle and Emilie de Ravin realized they were definitely screwed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Emilie de Ravin

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, despite the title and rating, there will be no smut on this fanfiction. Just small references of their need for each other.  
> NO SMUT, but some bad words.

Emilie de Ravin was confused about what she would do after that call, four weeks before, in which they called her to reprise her role as Belle on Once Upon a Time.

She had accepted immediately, of course; not just because she had no other plans, but also because working with Robert Carlyle _was_ a great opportunity. But she was not sure about what she was going to do with the burning feeling she had had every single time she was around him when they filmed that first episode together.

Not that she was in love with Robert Carlyle, of course! She loved her husband, even though they didn't live together most of the time, as they were always doing movies and TV shows on different places. But she certainly loved her husband!

No. What she was feeling was not love, and, even if _she_ was in love — not that she was considering this a possibility —, he was a married man _. They_ were not supposed to happen, even if her guts insisted to tell her otherwise. _They_ didn't exist, even if she dreamed every night with a reality in which they did.

Okay, there was a small possibility that she _was_ in love with him if her guts and dreams were to be trusted. It was just a crush, although, because he was a great actor and he surprised her by being nice and funny. But it was _just_ a crush. It could not be anything else as the _two of them_ were happily married.

She could be clumsy sometimes, but she was sure not even her would love for someone married for almost fifteen years with a woman with who he had three children. No, she definitely didn't love Robert Carlyle.

Despite the _fact_ that she didn't love him, she was worried that he could discover the way she was feeling about him — a crush, a physical need, not love, of course! —; she definitely needed to discover a way to hide from him that her guts danced every time he was around.

She would never do anything for him to be with her, she would _never_ seduce him, because it was _wrong_. After all, she respected him and his marriage, he was a great guy and deserved that from her.

And then, she saw him for the first time after almost half a year when they were about to film the huge reunion between Belle and Rumplestiltskin, and it was then that she realized he was even sexier in suit than he was in leather. And it was then that she realized was definitely screwed!


	2. Robert Carlyle

It was hard for Robert Carlyle to work with Emilie de Ravin.

When they filmed Skin Deep was somewhat easy, because he knew they would do just that episode and he probably wouldn't see her again for a long time. Now, however, they were filming a lot together and, if the fan's feedback about Rumplestiltskin and Belle's relationship was any guarantee, he knew that they would keep filming together until the end of the show.

He tried to convince himself that he was not infatuated by Emilie after they finished filming Skin Deep. However, when he discovered that he missed her and started to dream with her every night, waking up with his body begging for hers and his guts burning of need, he understood that he cared about her more than he would care about a friend he made on set. She was special to him, and he would not fool himself to think otherwise: he was old enough to know that it would never work out.

It was not a problem on that moment, because he would not be tempted by her closeness; but, when they told him that it was offered to her to stay as a series regular actress, he knew he was screwed. Because now they were to pretend to be a couple and he would have to work for long periods with her, which would not be easy.

Indeed it was not easy. He knew from the moment they filmed the last episode of the first season and he realized that his feelings for her never changed, he still cared too much about her. So, he went to Scotland during the hiatus period knowing that he would have to be strong to not do anything he would regret later, when they started to film the second season of Once Upon a Time.

He desperately tried to fix his married — something he had stopped trying long time ago —, but it didn't work out and made him angrier about it. If she was not interested, why _should_ he? But he knew why: his children would end up hurt if he cheated their mother. No, he could not do this with them.

And that's why he was so screwed. Because he was fucking in love with that beautiful woman he had to kiss and hug and _pretend_ to be in love in front of the camera, and he knew she was in love with him too, because she was never able to hide anything from him. Neither of them, however, could do anything about those persistent feelings, because they were both married and he had three children he loved. It was not right.

But it was in that scene on episode The Crocodile that he realized there would be no coming back, he was definitely screwed. When he looked to her and saw understanding inside her eyes. She finally knew that _he_ was also feeling like they weren't meant to be despite their feelings. Not just Rumplestiltskin on that scene, _him_ too!

That was when he realized that she finally had discovered that his feelings for her were not so different from her feelings for him. And that was when he felt the last wall between them collapse. They were definitely screwed!


	3. We Are So Screwed!

They didn't know how to act in front one another anymore. They knew they were in love, but they also knew they would never do anything about this, because they were both married.

Robert, however, was sick of this situation. He wanted her, he dreamed every night about her, and not just about her body anymore, but also about they acting in front of everyone as boyfriend and girlfriend and kissing and cuddling without the fear and the shame. He knew it was not just mere passion or carnal desire, it was worst, it was… he could not even bring himself to say the word to describe it. Too painful!

He needed to do something about it. He needed to make her understand that he cared about her too much to let this go without fighting. He needed her to fight by his side to find a way that would not hurt them or the others they loved.

But it was impossible. Someone would be hurt in some point.

Emilie didn't know what to do. She had tried everything to stay away from him, but she just cared about him _too much_ , she just needed him _too much_ in her life. Soon enough, she stopped trying to deny her feelings for him, although she was still trying to avoid the ultimate word. It was necessary for keeping her sanity.

The fact was that she was connected to him in some way she not quite understood, like there was a magnet made the effort to be apart from him impossible to bear. She could not fight against it, it was too strong!

They needed to be together, but how? Could she so easily drop her years of marriage? No. Maybe she didn't love her husband anymore, but she barely knew Robert Carlyle to do something so crazy. And he still had a wife who she was _almost_ certain that he loved and three children that she was _sure_ he loved. They couldn't do that, it was wrong!

But she needed him and she ended up discovering that he needed her too. It would soon happen, she simply knew it. And everything would collapse.

That was what she was thinking when they had to film that _stupid scene_ in which Rumplestiltskin loses his Belle for what seems to be forever on episode The Outsider. And she started to think that, when Once Upon a Time is over, they could never see each other again, and that would be awful, because the way they had clicked was not normal.

In that moment, she hided herself on her trailer and started to cry.

She tried to stop sometimes before losing herself on the feeling of loss and confusion and there she stayed, sitting inside the _stupid trailer_ crying like hell while trying not to be heard.

Then, she heard a knock on the door and a voice — _his_ voice — calling her.

No. That could not happen, he could not see her crying because of _him_. It was unacceptable, he would know what this was about and it would complicate things between them even more. Definitely, he could not see her like this.

She breathed, trying to contain the crying, and, after a while, she realized that the tears were gone, but her eyes was still red and her face still looked sad for some reason. He knocked again, asking her if everything was fine.

"I-it's okay…"

But it didn't sound convincing even to herself and, without any previous warning, he entered in her trailer.

She sat on the couch looking to her feet in a refuse to look at him and let him see her face and her pain. He sat beside her and wrapped his arms over her shoulders, pulling her into an warm and comfortable embrace. She hugged his waist, burying her face on his chest while trying hard not to cry and failing.

After a while, she calmed down enough to feel him shaking against her and understand that he was also afraid of all that was happening, the things they were sharing. She hugged him stronger, sensing his sweet smell and enjoying his warmth, and she realized she would do almost anything to just feel that again and again.

Soon, he stopped shaking and slowly moved away from her. They looked to each other for a while until he got close again and lightly kissed her forehead.

"Take care of yourself," he said before standing up and leaving the trailer.

Emilie felt like she had lose a part of her without his closeness, she never felt so complete in her entire life as she felt in his arms. Her heart lost one beat when she realized that they were screwed, because they definitely love each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the many mistakes. I don't have a beta and English is not my best language to write with.


	4. Two Can Be Screwed Together

If Emilie de Ravin was honest with herself, she would admit that she had no idea of what to do with her feelings for Robert Carlyle.

She knew for certain that any relationship they could have would be considered outrageous for most of the people and was destined to have no future. She also knew for certain, although, that they were just postponing something that would happen anyway. Even if they were not playing characters that were in love, they had to see each other _too much_ and someday one of them would kiss the other and everything would be definitely ruined.

She knew, although, that when she was drunk she rarely had dreams, which made easier to pretend she had no feelings for Robert. So, she started to drink before going to bed, which could not be the greatest idea — specially when she had to film on the next day —, but was the best she had.

He noted, obviously — he always noted everything about her, and her hangovers were not the most difficult thing to note —,  and tried to talk to her about what was happening between the two of them. But he was too close and her head was hurting too much and she had to run from the sets before doing something stupid and inappropriate like kiss him in front of everyone.

Emilie knew that they would have to talk about this sometime, but she was afraid he would convince her that an affair was not something so horrible. She was afraid that his feelings for her was not quite so intense as her feelings for him, that he was just attracted to her.

Robert Carlyle was very close to talk sincerely with Emilie when she ran from him. He was very scared about that situation and even more scared about what it was doing with his friend and beloved. They _needed_ to resolve that.

Feeling as a school boy giving excuses to the principal or the teacher, he talked with the staff on set on that day, saying that Emilie was feeling sick and had to go home. They decided to film all the scenes they didn't need Emilie to do, which took half of the day and left him exhausted at the end.

Robert wondered if that would be the best moment to talk to Emilie about what was happening. After all, he was _very_ tired and a little angry with her attitude; but he was also feeling brave enough to do what needed to be done, which was something he didn't know when he would feel again.

So, he decided it was the best moment he would ever have and went according to his plan.

Emilie answered her door almost five minutes after he rang the bell for the first time, looking as she was sleeping. He should have felt bad about waking her up, but he was too scared and angry to think about it on that moment.

She almost reluctantly let him in and the two of them sat quietly on living room, he on the couch and her on the armchair.

"We need to talk, Em," said Robert. "This can't keep going on like this."

Emilie stirred uncomfortable, refusing to look to Robert.

"Why?" She asked after a while. "I mean, we are okay, aren't we?"

"Are you?" He retorted. "You go to work every single day hungover. Are you saying that this is okay? That this is normal?"

Emilie swallowed hard. This could not be happening! They could not have this talk! It would ruin everything!

"Answer me, Em, please. Am I just worrying about nothing?"

"You don't need to worry about me, Bobby," she said stubbornly. "I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself."

"Are you so _fucking_ afraid that you can't have a sincere conversation about our feelings for each other?" He said louder and with more words than he was planning.

Emilie looked to him too shocked to talk.

"I'm sorry, but I can't take this any longer." He said, and his voice was so weak that she raised her eyes to meet his. She saw tears in it. "I love you, Em. Please, don't tell me you don't feel anything for me, I know it's not true."

"I love you too," she said before she could stop herself, almost too quietly for him to listen.

Almost instantly, she felt lighter than she was feeling for months. She said it! She finally said it and it was the best feeling in the word! Emilie was so relieved that she didn't note when Robert get up from the couch and went to her.

He took her face between his hands and made her to look to him in his eyes. And then, his mouth was on hers and nothing more mattered except of the feeling of burn increasing inside her.

She almost didn't note when she get up and hugged him tight — despite the fact that it was wonderful to hug him, to feel his closeness —, but she certainly noted when he wrapped her by her waist and started to push her body against his, because she felt his desire against her belly, which made her insides dance and burn even more.

And then, he departed from her just enough for them to take a breath. They look into each other eyes and saw pleasure and love, but also confusion and fear.

That was when she started to cry.

Because it was something _wrong_ , but it was also too _right_ for them to stop now. Because she knew this could not end well, but her heart kept fooling her, making her to believe they would work this out. Because she was married with a man she didn't love and he was married with a woman he didn't love, but there were children involved and it would never be easy.

He hold her tighter and she buried her head in his chest, searching for comfort.

"Everything is going to be okay," he said to her and to himself while stroking her hair gently. "I will figure this out, I promise."

Maybe. Maybe he was right, maybe everything would work out. But, even if it didn't, being screwed together was lots better than being screwed alone, and that was a fact she could not ignore anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Sorry about the delay.  
> That's just a small idea I had and decided to put on paper. I do plan writing more about them, but I don't really know when I will have more ideas. You can send me prompts if you like.  
> Thanks to everyone who read this. Hope you guys liked it.


End file.
